Ed's Jealousy Problem
by LeFay Strent
Summary: What happens when Ed gets jealous? -A side story for TBA-


**In this short story I used my OC yet again. Ed gets jealous when guys start propositioning Taylor. Enjoy the humor.**

**Beware: There's cussing for those of you who are bothered by it.**

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><p>(-Taylor-)<p>

"There's got to be more to it than that." Ed was saying.

I rolled my eyes, "What more could there be?" I asked.

Ed's brows furrowed as he thought seriously, "Something fishy was definitely going on there. I mean, Jack didn't fall down that hill all on his own. I'm betting Jill was to blame."

I snorted, "Oh yeah, cause Jill was an evil little girl. No wait, I've got it! Jack was going behind Jill's back and hooking up with Jane and that didn't fly too well with Jill."

Ed nodded earnestly, "It was probably Jill who suggested getting the pale of water in the first place and as soon as they were up at the top Jill pushed Jack down the hill."

"But wait. Then why did Jill fall down too?"

"Maybe Jane came back for revenge too."

"So basically they're all evil and out to get each other." I concluded.

Al sighed, "You guys are reading too much into it. It's just a nursery rhyme."

We closed the subject as we entered the store.

"Tell me why we're here again." Ed said with a pained expression.

I put my hands on my hips, "Because you promised. And if I'm not mistaken you're a man of your word. Are you not?"

Ed groaned. I had been begging him for days to take me shopping for new clothes. He kept saying that the ones I had on were fine. Obviously he couldn't comprehend a girl's need for clothes. "Fine. Whatever. Just hurry up."

"You can't rush something as important as this." I responded, annoyed. "Shopping takes time and work."

Ed groaned again but said nothing more. Al didn't seem bothered at all. Then again, not many things bothered Al.

I dove into the clothing racks. "Hello my pretties." I greeted the clothes.

A half hour later Ed was begging to leave.

"What do I have to do? Get on my knees? I'll do it just this once if that will get you to leave."

I shook my head, "Stop complaining. I'm just getting started. Ooh! Look at that one!" I raced over to the cute top I had spotted. I held it up against me, "How does it look?"

Ed frowned, "I'm not answering that."

I smiled slyly, "That's okay. But it might take me _hours_ to form my own opinion about it."

Ed grimaced, "You're cruel."

My sinister laugh only confirmed his statement.

"I for one think it compliments you nicely."

I turned around to find the person who had spoken.

"Oh, hi." I said as I came face to face with a tall dark haired boy. He held an amused expression as he eyed me curiously. "Um, thank you." I stammered.

"Don't thank me." he waved away my gratitude. "I should be the one thanking you."

"For what?" I cocked my head to the side.

"For giving me the opportunity to meet such a beautiful woman."

"Oh." was all I could say.

"Huh!" Ed stared at the guy, peeved. "Just who are you?'

"I'm sorry. I should have introduced myself. My name is Damien." He then took hold of my hand, lifting it to brush his lips against it. "But my friends call me Dami."

I blushed. This guy didn't lack charm, that's for sure. It also didn't hurt that he was quite the looker. His dark eyes gazed into mine and I shivered. Affected by cute boys? Who, me?

"Well, we're not your friends." Ed said rudely. "Come on Taylor. Let's go."

"Is that you're name?" Damien asked with a smile. "Such a remarkable name for a remarkable woman."

I couldn't help a smile of my own. Ooh, he was just too dang sweet for his own good!

"You just met her. How do you know if she's remarkable?" Ed asked. I didn't know why but Ed had taken an instant dislike to Damien.

"But I feel as if I've known her all my life." Damien replied smoothly.

That made me think of something, "Hey, I know this is going to sound weird but are you my secret admirer?" For the past week I had been receiving a large amount of gifts from an unknown source. They were either flowers or chocolates or jewelry. They always had little love notes attached to them but none of them had a signature from my admirer. The presents kept showing up and I had no idea from who. It pleased me and kind of made me uneasy. I could have a stalker for all I knew. This had also been annoying Ed. Whenever I received a new gift he got all moody for some reason.

Damien's eyes sparkled, "I have made it no secret that I admire you."

"So you're not the one sending me flowers?"

"No, but if you would like I would gladly buy some for you."

"Alright buddy." Ed growled. "You're pushing it. Move along."

Damien gave him a bored glance, "And who are you, her father?" Then his lips curved up, "Or are you simply jealous?"

Ed's eyes widened as he sputtered, "Je-je-jealous? I-I'm not-I'm not jealous!"

Damien smirked, "Could have fooled me."

I glanced at Ed. Now that he mentioned it, it did seem like Ed was acting jealous. But why? Because Damien was hitting on me? Did that mean Ed actually cared if other guys noticed me?

"Shut up! Who are you calling a short little midget?" Ed shouted.

Damien's eyebrow rose, "I didn't call you anything of the sort. But now that you mention it-"

"Well! I think we should be leaving!" I said brightly, cutting him off before he could provoke Ed farther.

Ed simmered but backed down. "Finally. Let's go find Al and get out of here." Ed grabbed my wrist and dragged me away before I could change my mind.

"Nice meeting you, Damien!" I called back at him, which triggered another growl from Ed. He began muttering obscene things under his breath. I giggled. Who knew I could make Ed jealous?

After our shopping trip, we traveled to Central HQ. Colonel Mustang had requested our presence, something that irritated Ed to no end.

"What does the bastard want this time?" Ed muttered as we walked down the hall to Mustang's office. "I've already filled out my report from the last mission."

"Maybe he has a new assignment ready." Al guessed.

Ed grumbled under his breath, "Or maybe he just wants to yank my chain like he always does."

We reached Mustang's office and, without knocking, Ed barged right on in.

"I'm here! Now what do you want?" Ed asked harshly.

Mustang glanced up from a document he had been reading, "Funny. I didn't hear a knock."

"Neither did I. Now let's get this over with." Ed said.

"Brother." Al chided him. Ed gave Al a scowl.

"As you wish. You are the one calling the shots after all." Mustang replied sarcastically, rubbing his head like it ached.

Ed grinned, "Sorry, am I getting on your nerves?"

The older man smirked, "No, I'm just getting a _little _tension headache is all."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A PINTSIZED MIDGET!" Ed roared. The smirk deepened, eliciting another shout from Ed, "What the hell are you smirking at? And what the hell did you want us here for?"

"Us?" Mustang repeated the word. "I'm afraid you've mistaken me. Fullmetal, you and you're brother may leave." He rose from his chair and stepped around his desk. He stepped in front of me, looking down at me. "But I insist on _you_ staying."

"_Me_?" I squeaked.

"Yes. Have you received all of my gifts?"

I blanched, "Y-_you're_ the one who sent those gifts?"

"Yes. Did they please you?" he asked, taking hold of my hand in both of his large ones.

"What kind of game are you playing, you bastard!" Ed fumed, getting over his initial shock.

"The same game that's been played for centuries." Mustang answered silkily. "When a man finds a women to their liking and they seek to pursue them. Taylor," he stepped closer to me, my hand between us the only things keeping our bodies from touching, "I'm pursuing you."

I blushed fiercely. It's not every day guys throw themselves at me. And today that had happened twice! But not only that, this was _Mustang_ we were talking about. Sure he may have been way too easy on the eyes, but this was _Mustang_! Too weird for words. And, speaking of eyes, his eyes were burning intensely into mine as he leaned forward.

Mustang dropped my hand and placed his hands on either side of my face, going for my lips with his.

"Hey!" I heard Ed's voice and then I was suddenly being yanked back away from Mustang's grasp. Ed stepped in front of me protectively. "Did you lose your mind or something?"

"No. Only my heart. I have lost my heart to a woman so fine." He held his hand to his chest as he stared at me meaningfully.

Gulp. "Um, not that I don't appreciate it Mustang, but-"

"Please, call me Roy."

Double gulp. "Um, how about I don't."

Ed chimed in, glaring at Mustang, "How about I kick your ass?"

Mustang's famous smirk returned, "Jealousy is unbecoming of you, Fullmetal."

Ed growled, "I'm not jealous!"

"Then you should not be so averse to me courting Taylor."

"I don't think so, sicko!"

"You have a problem with it?"

"You bet I do!"

"So you want her for yourself. Is that it?"

Ed was taken aback at the turn of the argument. He stammered, "I-I never s-said that!"

"Then what are you getting so riled up about?"

"Cause you're being a pervert and Taylor deserves better!"

"I do?" I asked, mystified by this fight. They didn't seem to hear me and carried on.

Mustang revealed a devilish grin, "Are you saying I wouldn't know how to treat her right? I'll have you know just how well I can treat a woman." He made the words sound provocative. "What do you say Taylor? We can get out of here and find a nice private place with just the two of us. Then I can see if your assets are really as large as they appear under your clothes."

My face became beat red as his gaze lingered on my body. I didn't have a chance to react to his proposition. Ed swiftly descended on Mustang, throwing his fist in the air. Mustang easily sidestepped the attack and had to dodge another as Ed came after him again.

"Shouldn't we stop them?" Al asked worriedly.

I raised an eyebrow, "You want to get in the middle of that?"

Al backed down and I didn't blame him one bit. We watched as Ed chased Mustang around his own desk, shouting a stream of profanities.

Mustang conceded, "We could always just share her, Fullmetal."

Ed stopped dead in his tracks, "Huh?"

Mustang halted his mad dash around his desk. "I'm not usually this nice but seeing as how this means so much to you we can both share Taylor."

"What kind of woman do you take me for?" I yelled at the same time Ed shouted, "What kind of man do you take me for?"

Ed's eyes narrowed in anger, "I'm not sick and twisted like you are. I would treat Taylor a whole lot better than that."

"Are you implying that you would be the better man for her?" Mustang asked, amused.

"Damn straight!"

Mustang grinned full out, "So you admit that you want to be with her?"

Ed faltered, "I didn't say that! I just said that I would be a hell of a lot better choice than you, you sick bastard!"

"Maybe instead of this useless arguing we should ask her." Mustang suggested. "Surely she would see the better man for her would be me. Someone who could fulfill her needs."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

Mustang smiled slyly, "She needs a man that isn't as _small_ as you."

I didn't think my face could get any redder but it did. Ed didn't even fully comprehend the colonel's insult, distracted by the s word. He began chasing Mustang around his desk again. They ran around again and again.

Finally, I snapped, "Stop it!"

They both did as I ordered, surprised by my outburst. Two sets of eyes stared at me, one gold and angry, the other dark and mischievous.

I took in a big breath before I continued, "This is getting us nowhere." Mustang was about to speak up but I silenced him, "No. Let me talk. Though I appreciate the presents you thoughtfully sent me, I must decline your _kind _offer." Heavy on the sarcasm. "And as for you." I turned to Ed who flinched. "Stop saying that you're not jealous cause you are. And you have no right to be because you never got in line, buddy."

They both shied under my stony glare. Mustang though, being who he was, spoke up, "So, which one are you choosing then? Me or him?"

They both looked at me hopefully. Yes, _both_ of them. It kind of surprised me coming from Ed. Maybe he just didn't want to lose to Mustang. Or maybe he actually cared about me. None of that mattered though. I'd had enough of this.

"Neither of you! Jeez!"

Mustang seemed confused, "But you have to choose."

That got me started again, "I don't have to choose! I don't need a man to complete me! But fine. If it makes you happy I will choose!"

I went and grabbed Al's arm, "I'm choosing Alphonse."

Everyone stared at me in open shock.

"That's right. Take it in. I choose Alphonse over you two idiots." I sent them a final unhappy glance and then turned away from them. "Come on, Al. Let's leave."

"O-okay." Al stuttered and we walked out of the office.

(-Ed-)

Ed and Mustang stared after them as the door swung closed.

Mustang shook his head, "Who knew Al was such a ladies man."

Ed muttered under his breath, "Damn, Al. Betraying me like that."

Mustang brushed the whole incident off with a shrug.

"You're not bothered by that?" Ed asked the man, observing his nonchalance.

"Why should I be? I have plenty of other options out there ripe for the taking. Like for instance…" Mustang trailed off and gazed at Ed.

"What?" Ed asked, confused.

Mustang smiled a smile that would make any woman swoon, "How about you and I-"

"Shut it, bastard!" Ed growled and stormed out of the office leaving Mustang alone in his office to sulk at two rejections in less than five minutes.

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><p><strong>I hope you liked it. Props go to Rokuchuchu for letting me use his character, Damien. You the man, Roku.<strong>


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